10 COMMENDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

I know many of you have read this joke (it probably one of those emails forwarded to you – which you didnt bother to open, simply click..and deleted) but I wanna put it up anyway *blow raspberries*

 

Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven.

But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say,

talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand —

and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage,

the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks

and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and

the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car

for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;

the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night

thinking about something you said.

After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish

 

Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,

understanding, economical, and a good

cook. But the law only allows one wife.

Commandment 9.

Every woman wants a man who is handsome,

understanding, economical and a considerate lover,

but again, the law allows only one husband.

Commandment 10.

Man is incomplete before he marries.

After that, he is finished.

 

Bonus story: Many years ago, a married couple came across a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too, but he leaned too much and fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a while, then smiled “Wow! It really works!”

 

Now… are you considering marriage now? hahahahahahahaha <—– intended as purely distasteful joke