Where Are We Going, Again?

What is the point of having a relationship if we already know the ending? Wouldn’t that be sort of anti-climactic? There is nothing more disappointing than to learn the end of a story even before we open the first page, or being told of the ending of a good movie as we stood in line to get in the cinema.

Is this what people called the ‘cross-road’ in a relationship – this nagging feeling and flashes of doubts that visit me even daytime now? Having survived 2 divorces and several heart aches, it really surprised me that I found “love” so easily. I did some character quiz some times ago (okay, go on.. laugh.. smirk..whatever..) and found that:

” You can develop deep emotions quickly, and you’re the type most likely to move in with someone after a few dates.”

What a letdown! Is it because I craved to be in a relationship and being with someone that i easily let myself to be engulfed in the very emotion that betrayed me over and over again? And to be embroiled with the men of similar characters and traits? Shouldn’t I feel the first alarm when I met them? I have promised myself over and again NOT to fall in love again, especially to someone that reminds me of someone in my past. I have deep suspicion that I haven’t been over with the previous relationships and that there were no closure at all. They just sorta… disappeared. Gone. Moved away. And I would be the one left behind, wondering in perplexity of how the feck did we end up this way.

How the heck we find enclosure for the past?