What is the point of having a relationship if we already know the ending? Wouldn’t that be sort of anti-climactic? There is nothing more disappointing than to learn the end of a story even before we open the first page, or being told of the ending of a good movie as we stood in line to get in the cinema.
Is this what people called the ‘cross-road’ in a relationship – this nagging feeling and flashes of doubts that visit me even daytime now? Having survived 2 divorces and several heart aches, it really surprised me that I found “love” so easily. I did some character quiz some times ago (okay, go on.. laugh.. smirk..whatever..) and found that:
” You can develop deep emotions quickly, and you’re the type most likely to move in with someone after a few dates.”
What a letdown! Is it because I craved to be in a relationship and being with someone that i easily let myself to be engulfed in the very emotion that betrayed me over and over again? And to be embroiled with the men of similar characters and traits? Shouldn’t I feel the first alarm when I met them? I have promised myself over and again NOT to fall in love again, especially to someone that reminds me of someone in my past. I have deep suspicion that I haven’t been over with the previous relationships and that there were no closure at all. They just sorta… disappeared. Gone. Moved away. And I would be the one left behind, wondering in perplexity of how the feck did we end up this way.
How the heck we find enclosure for the past?
4 comments
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May 15, 2007 at 8:02 am
Chu
Everyone craves and wants love and tenderness. It will come, stick with it. Don’t doubt yourself
June 5, 2007 at 7:14 am
Ray Jaun
An instant closure isn’t healthy. It probably means that you’re harbouring something, somewhere or you’re just rather brutally speaking, cold.
June 5, 2007 at 7:17 am
Esther
And I just realised I can’t delete my previous comment on your blog! *gasps*
June 8, 2007 at 11:33 am
me_a_single_parent
Esther darling, instant closure is not what i seek, bur rather a point where i know it ended.. i hate this feeling of uncertain whether we are still in a relationship and he is just going on a hiatus somewhere, or the relationship is as good as gone. at least by saying that our relationship cant survive or i have change of heart or anything.. i’d rather be sliced in two with words rather than embraced by silence unknow.